Angimbeki Cala! Part 1

Angimbeki Cala! Oooheeee!...Yeka okwethu esagana amadoda asebenza kude! Cha bakithi ngithi nami angithathe leli thuba ke ngidlulise nayi into ingishisa esifubeni. Ngingomunye wesifazane owaba nenhlanhla ngashada ngisemncane ngineminyaka ewu 20 nje kuphela. Nginezingane ezimbili...eyokuqala ena 5 ngayithola ngaphambi kokuba ngishadile futhi akuyona eyomkhwenyana wami....bese kuzoba ena 2 yona engeyasemshadweni . Ngomusa ka Somandla sesaphuma umuzi wethu...nakuba sakhe le kwa nja ayiphume kwankomo zinya upholishi.....le emaphandleni. Kepha ke okuyikhona okungenza ngize ngibhale nami kulenkundla kamabhebhana ingexa yesehlo esingehlele nje emavikini ambalwa edlule. Yize khona ngazi kahle kamhlophe ukuthi inkulu mukhulu umonakalo ongadaleka uma kungenzeka nje kube kanti nomkhwenyana wami uyingxenye yabantu abazofunda lokhu engizoxoxa ngakho. Kepha ke ngesizathu sokuthi ngiyamazi ukuthi izinto zama social networks akazifuni kanjani futhi akazisebenzisi lokho kungenza ngibe nesiqiniseko sokuthi angeke aze azi ngalesisi npsimanga sento engehlele. Cha phela akuthuleki nendaba enje. LWAZE LWANGIBHEBHA UHLANYA!!!!! Noma ngingaziqhenyi ngokubhejwa uhlanya ngaleyandlela... kodwa ngenxa yesimo elangifica ngikuso....sokubulawa umzwangedwa.... kwavele kwaba sengathi lingenza lokhu esengihleli ngiphupha ngakho cishe ubusuku nemini. Phela akudlali ukulala wedwa....uzigoqe kuhle kuka okapi kuze kuyophela inyanga. Nakhona lapho ekupheleni kwenyanga ube wazi kahle kamhlophe ukuthi noma angafika ubabah... Friday..angibhebhe...kodwa kusuke kuzoba ubusuku obubili nje kuphela...kube ukuthi nge Sonto/ Sunday useyakhwela njalo ubuyela esingwini. Cha ningangizwa kabi bakwethu...kepha ngizikhulumela iqiniso linjengoba linjalo nje. Kuthi kushaya izinsuku zokuphela kwenyanga kube sekunzima kakhulu kimi....ngisuke sengihluleka nawukuvala amehlo ngenxa yokuluma kwengquza.... lapho u kusuke sekunzima ngisho ukugqoka iphenti lodwa leli. Ingani kwalona kuvele kube sengathi liwuthunuka noma ubusukhohliwe ukuqhanyelwa....kanti ke futhi kwakhona ukungaligqoki kwami iphenti ngisuke sengenzela nokuthi kube lula nokufinyelela kuwo ngiwunwaye uma nje kuvela ithuba. Ngize ngingabe sazi noma ingoba vele kwamina ngikuthanda yini ukubhejwa...noma ingoba ingqondo yami isuke seyingitshela ukuthi izinsuku zisondele sengizothola futhi. Njengoba umkhwenyana wami ephuza nje.....ngize ngikhale izinyembezi uqobo lwazo uma kuke kwenzeka wafika ephuze ngalendlela yokuthi ehluleka nawukudla ikhekhe lami. Okusempeleni ngokwami kusuke kungathi angathi efika nje khona ebusuku Friday kube ukuthi kusha ingquza nesende kuze kube kuyofika i Sunday elokhu elilhikizile nje igolo lami. Kodwa ke akwenzeki ngokuthanda kwami...khona uma kuke kwenzeka wahlangana nabahlobo bakhe bakhona la endaweni...bavele bamphuzise adakwe umuntuwakhona alale akhamise... lapho mina abufiki kwakona ubuthongo ngiqhanyelwe ngiyafa. Ngoba futhi amadoda! Ave engakwazi ukusicabangela singabantu besimame! Uthini umuntu ezolala edakiwe ubusuku bonke kuyasa ngakusasa uselungiselela ukuhamba...lapho mina ngibe ngiwuzwa u qhotho ulingqofa okungathi uzoliqhumisa iphenti ngenxa yokuqhanyelwa. Cha phela ngiyaligqoka impela uma ekhona...angithandi agcine esengibuza imibuzo eminingi...ngoba wangithola ngiligqoka. Kodwa unele angyosithela laphaya...nokuyizingane kunganakile..zizidlalela emnyango....ngikhumule lento ngiyiphonse laphaya ngivale ngikhiye bese ngiziphonse embhedeni ngilale ngibheke phezulu ngiwuhlikize ngiwunwaya ngiwusheshisa uqhotho...ngizidlokodle ngomunwe...ngiwuzwe uqina ukogodo umzimba ngibone izinkanyezi emini kwa bha.... ngigoqongane okokugcina....lapho sengichama...kube ilapho kuthi dwee....ngisho ngikwazi nokucabanga into ephusile. Nangalolu suku ngizozithola ngibhejwa uhlanya ke.....kwakwenzeke into ethi ayifane nale engichaze ngenhla. Umuntuwakhona walibala amankwebevu ngomgqibelo...kuyasa nge Sonto ukhala ngekhanda elinkenkethayo...aphume isikhashana esaye kwa Mam'yangichaza...ubuya lapho uselandelwa iqulu lalamadoda angomahlalela....baqhubeke lapho begcine khona ngayizolo. Vele ke lo owami uyashesha nokudakwa...wathi ephuma ehamba nanelibandla lakhe wabe eseqhuba imbuzi. Lapho ngingasacasukanga kanje. Ngacasuka ngavele ngadumela izingubo zokulala ngaqonda emfuleni lapho vele okuwashelwa khona. Ngizwa ukuthi ngiyafutha intukuthelo. Ngathi ngifika emfuleni...kunamakhosikazi amabili ...u Lindiwe oganele kwa Ndwalane kanye noma Ngema nabo bezowasha iwashingi yabo. Sicishe silingane ngeminyaka sino Lindiwe kuthi u ma Ngema yena abe mdadlana kunathi. Uyathanda nokukhuma enjalo nje u ma Ngema...nd ukhuluma nanoma ingani akanamahloni....wabuye wazohlangana naleli qhala qhala eliwu Lindiwe kwavele konakala. Ngithe njengoba ngisondela kubo nje...ngivele ngiyone ngokuthi ngithi...Kujabula nina dade eseniwashe iwashingi engaka! Weee....Phela wena ubabah ubesakuvula ekuvala...ekuphenduphendula ekugibeza phezu kwamatafula ekwenza isidlo sasekuseni....thina awethu amadoda angabuyanga besivuka ngaleso sikhathi sijahe ukuqeda iwashingi...basho bahleke baze babhansane. Ngizwe ngifikelwa amahlonyana...kodwa ngizithole sengihleka nami....ngibe ngebeka phansi ubhavu omkhulu ogcwele iwashingi. Iheee!... ungasashongo ntombi...yabona mina nje....njengoba ngiyisukela namhlanje le washing....ingoba ngifuna athi efika ubaba ka Mfanelo ngibe ngimvalela ekhoneni ngimnika indunu...aze akhale ngomawakhe!.... uLindiwe lowo ekhuluma aze alingise ukufenda. Lapho siyobe sesiphenduke amahhashi ubusuku bonke.....phela weee... aaaibo!...nami sengimkhumbule kabi ubabah...angisakwazi nokulala. Yooooohh!... pluz...ungathi akulalwa kulendoda yakho iyidla indunu ize izicelele uxolo....phela ngihleli ngikubona ntombi indlela osuke uyiyo uma ikhona....uma Ngema lowo esekhuluma embuka emehlweni u Lindiwe. Ngifuna athi engena ngomnyango ngibe ngimphushela laphaya...lapho ngiyobe sengizishayela nje....plus ngithanda kanjani uma ezongikhotha uqhotho engaphansi mina ngingaphezulu kuvele kuvaleke amadlebe. He!.He!. Heee.....Uuuu!...bahleke baze baphushane ubone nje ukuthi bakhuluma ngento abazifelayo ngayo. Lapho u ma Ngema uselokhu ethi....aai...suka wena....hiiii! ...kudela ongibonela wena usuqhaqhazela phezu kwendoda.... Tyoooo...ave nikhuluma!....lapho ngisho ngizwa ukuthi ungathi kukhona ibhathini elithile elipresekeyo ngiwuzwe uthi fuku.... fuku uqhotho...ngize ngiqinise umzimba...kodwa angifuni babone ukuthi lento abakhuluma ngayo iyangiqhanyelisa. Kuthe besakhuluma kunjalo...kuhlekwa uhleko lwezintombi...kuchwaza izihosha...kube kuqhamuka umhlambi wezinkomo. Ziqhutshwa u Phuthumani umfo ka Gabela...phela uye olusa lezi zinkomo zakubo kwa Bandla. Umfoka Gabela lo nokho ungathi unokungaphili kahle ekhanda. Lokho akubuzwa ...uzibonela nangendlela alibophe ngakhona ibhlukwe ngo tie...esiswini ngenhla kwenkaba. Nokho ekhanda uphucile ikhanjana lakhe lelo liyacwebezela . Kumzimba wangenhla uzigqokele isikibha se Kaizer Chiefs sakudala nje...wasihlohla ebhlukweni leli aligqoke walibophela ngaphezu kwenkaba...engathi ilegenge eyayibizwa ngokuthi ama tshatshatsha eyayigqoka ibeke amabhlukwe enkabeni. Ayabathanda abantu besifazane....uhlezi ekhomba izintombi ezinhle ethi...wabona lo wami...zomlobola ngazo zonke nkomo zami....ingani noma ekhuluma unokushwashwatha. Uqhamuka nje usewakhiphe wonke amazinyo....esineka ubala umbona ukuthi inhliziyo ijiva nephaphu njengoba ebona isifazane nje....Phela akanamfazi wamuntu...uke umuzwe esesho ukuthi uzoyolobola umfazi womuntu. Kube ukuqhamuka kwakhe...avele amemeze uma Ngema athi... Awuuuhhh!...Laqhamuka madoda isoka lezintombi....Ufuna eyiphi ke kulezi esho esikhomba ngamehlo. Aphendule okungathi ubevele ewulindele lowombuzo athi...thatha zonke mina...funa zonke. Hawu! Kanti unjani wena Gabela?...ususifuna sonke manje? Ingani wena wathi ngaleliya langa uzolobola mina ngedwa nje?...u Lindiwe lowo ekhuluma embuka kubonakala ukuthi uzidlalela ngaye umfo ka Gabela. Jaaah...funa nonke nobabili mina...yabo nkomo ningi zomlobola nonke nowu 2....ekhuluma aze ahleke kancane....umfo ka Gabela. Aaibo!...kanti futhi ususifuna sobabili?...ingani wena uhlezi uthi zonke lezi zinkomo zizoya laphaya kwami uyongilobola ngazo? Usufuna no Lindiwe futhi...ngisho ngishaye izandla...okungathi ngimangele ngempela kanti ngiyazidlalela nje. Yeyeee...Mfo ka Gabela...uyazizwa izintombi zikubanga!....cha uyisoka mfo ka Gabela ngihlezi ngizwa ngendaba...kanti baqinisile ngempela!...uma Ngema lowo ebabaza eqhubeka nokwenza isithutha u mfo ka Gabela. Ahleke kuze kuvele elomhlathi u Phuthumani....umbone nje ukuthi akazikhohlwa nje nempela eyisoka lamanyala. Ngaleso sikhathi izinkomo ziphuza amamzi laphaya ngezansi kwabo ezinye sezilele phansi...izisu ziyintaba ngenxa yokusutha. Awusho ke mfo ka Gabela...Uyokwazi nje ukwanelisa abafazi ababili uma sebekufuna kanje bobabili? Uyoqala ngomuphi?....Athi uma esho kanjalo uma Ngema siqhume sonke insini sihleka Haa!....Mina zoqala ngalo ....esho ekhomaba mina u Phuthumani....ese yize ngalo....akhombe u Lindiwe..uma Mdlalose. Hhhaaai!...wena afuni sugugile...ubhekise ngaku ma Ngema ke manje. Funa ntombenhle ncane esidudla njenga lo... Aphinde akhombe mina. Hhaaaa!...mfo ka Gabela ungakwazi ukumelana nesidudula esifana nalesi?...uma Ngema lowo elokhu eqhube inkulumo... kuhlekwa. Khona uyosenza kanjani? Awenze ngibone ukuthi uyakwazi yini?... Lapho sisalokhu siqhubeke njalo nokuhleka...nakuba mina nginokumesaba kancane umfo ka Gabela lo kodwa sesimphendule upopayi wethu la emfuleni kodwa yena akaboni. Avele aphenduke u Phuthumani abuke ngakimi...athi lapho eqala ethi uyafenda emoyeni kuvele kuthi bhonqu isibhombolozi somthondokazi uputshuka lapho kufuze ukuthi ngabe kunozip kodwa okubonakala ukuthi awusasebenzi. Ngamuzwa ebabaza uma Ngema ethi....Aawu! Kodwa Nkosi!...awubheke nje ukudla kwethu kungakanani. Abe ebabaza kwasakuhleka u Lindiwe laphaya eduze kwama Ngema ethi...hhhaa!...ungalala ungavuki kulesisivonqozi esingaka! Umthondo ongaka pho! Lapho umfo ka Gabela ...u Phuthumani ungathi akabezwa kwakona laba asebebabaza umthondo wakhe ngaloluhlobo...ulokhu eqhubekile nokufenda...etshikizisa nezinqa okungathi uyayazi ngempela futhi lento ayenzayo.... lapho okuwumthondo sekulokhu kuvoshozela kuphakame kuyoshayeka esiswini nasemathangeni ebhlukweni lakhe. Cabanga mkhulu kangako nje lowomthondo awuqhanyelwe nakuqhanyelwa. Lapho uma Ngema sekungathi uyambongela umfo ka Gabela.... aaai wena!... aaai suka maaan!.... yoooh!...kanti ufenda kangaka mfo ka Gabela....Cha uyingozi! U Lindiwe akasahleki usekhala izinyembezi... Nami ngakolunye uhlangothi ngiphelile ukuhleka.. Lapho u mfo ka Gabela useze alume nodebe lwangezansi....okuyisinqa usesivetuzisa efenda ubala okungathi sizonqamuka. Avele elule izandla okungathi ufuna ukungibamba...ngizwe luthi heqe uvadlwana.... Maayeeebabooo!...ngiwubone uya uqina manje umthondo ka Phuthumani....avele awubambe ugcwala isandla ngimbone ewuthi....Hlwiiii! Ewuhlibila ijwabu kuvele elingakanani ikhinqi leli. Ngimuzwe ethi uma Ngema ethi... Aweemaaahhh!....MaMdlalose kodwa uthi wake walibona elingaka ikhinqi...yooo aai!... akumthondo ukufa phela lokhu. Kungasa emnyango inkosi impela....Asho uyahleka. Lapho u Phuthumani usalokhu ebheke mina....nami amehlo ami elokhu ethe njoo...kuloluhalakaqa lomthondo oseluze lwagobela ngakwa right ngenxa yokuqhanyelwa. Sengiyahlehla manje ingani ngimbona elula izandla okungathi ukuna ukungibamba angisobozele. Avele asondele ngakimi....ngethuke.....ngibalekele ngemuva kuka ma Ngema...naye abe ezikhalela ethi.... Maaayeeee!....egxuma egelekeqela engishiya ngiqondene no Phuthumani. Lapho loluchachaveyane oluwu Lindiwe seligxume layoma laphaya kude. Sengimuzwa elokhu ekhuza kwasa kuhleka ethi....hhhaaaai....hhhaaai Phuthumani... Mangcobo baleka usuke phela nawe manje lapho....sebeyachwaza o Lindiwe beno ma Ngema. Ngithi ngiyabaleka ngivele ngikhutshwe izingubo lezi eziphansi ngiye ngiyowela phezu kwazo....ngilale ngesisu...Lapho ngimbone uPhuthumani ngekhona lehlo esela ngenhla kwami...ngibezwe bechwaza laphaya buqamama o ma Ngema beno Lindiwe.... Phuthumani kahle!.... haaaibo!... Phuthumani... Phuthumani!...ngimuzwe omunye ethi weee...sengiyamsaba ke mina manje. Nami laphaya phansi ngiyapaquza ngizama ukuvuka...kodwa izingubo zivele zangibamba ngqi izinyawo....sengilokhu ngithe.... Haaaibo!... Haaaibo!..Suka!...Fuseki fuseki!... Ngqiiii....Ngizwe engixhakathisa isinqa engibamba okungathi ngibanjwe u vise grip....Paqu ... paqu...ngimuzwe ukuthi usengiphakamisa isiketi manje....bamemeze kakhulu o Lindiwe laphaya buqamama... Phuthumani!... Phuthumani.... kahleee boo!... Lapho ungathi bazihlalela ngesikhathi nje...ingani amanzi lawa asemfuleni nawo ayaxhaxhaza...kanti kulendawo esikuyo vele indawo eyifokozana engumhosha esivame ukuzowashela kuyo siphinde sikhumule sibe nqunu sihlambe nemizimba yethu. So akukho kwamuntu ongezwa ukuthi kukhona okwenzakalayo okungalungile...kanti kunjalo nje nabantu bendawo bayazi ukuthi vele le indawo yokuwashela amakhosikazi aphinde azinqunele ewodwa ezibangela nomsindo enganake lutho. Cabanga ke phela mina kwayiphenti lelo bengingaligqokile....ngimuzwe efutha la emhlane wami u Phuthumani...Ngimemeze....Ma Ngema!... aaaibooh!...Ma Ngema lekelelani msuseni. Njengoba ngipaquza nje kuvele kube sengathi ngimnika ithuba elihle lokungena phakathi kwamathanga ami...ngiwuzwe umthondo wakhe usushisa emasekeleni ezinqa...lapho okuyisiketi usevele wakuthi... hlwiii...wakubeka eqolo kimi...sengisele ngezinqa obala. Akumandla kumuntu engaphilile ekhanda...avele angibambe okungathi uyangiphakamisa ngesinqa engidonsela kuwo umthondo....ngiwuzwe ungqongqoza ezindebeni zegolo... lapho angisazi kumele ngenzenjani. Asiphushe....uphumpuluze ngiwuzwe uyongithihlikiza uqhotho ngekhinqi elishisa bhe... Amandla kimi ngiwezwe kungathi ayaphela manje...sengilokhu ngithi... Aweee... Aweeeeehhhh... Aweemaaahhh. Aphinde awuhlokoloze ngesihloko sekhinqi....ngizwe kuduma isihlonono emadlebeni ami. Kube sengathi kuvaleka amehlo....ngigcine ngikhamisile...ngibe ngimuzwa u Phuthumani ewubusheka ungena ugcwala ingquza yami....kube nobuhlungwana obuhambisana nobumnandi obumangazayo Ngathi ngizama ukumbuka kwavele kwaba mnyama amehlo kimi. Lapho usengene waphelela ngesinqe eguqe ngamadolo engingene ngemuva. Ngizwe efenda ngesinqe aze azongishayisa ngesinene ezinqeni. Ngiwuzwe usungishisa ekujuleni kwengquza manje umthondo....lapho angisezwa kwabuhlungu...Kodwa sengizwa kuduma opotiyane kimi. Aaayii!.... aaayii... Yooooohh....Lapho angisazi noma ngimlekelele yini ngifende.... Laphaya osebeni lomfula ungathi ngiyabezwa o Lindiwe no ma Ngema benkenteza khona... Ngamandla amakhulu...avele angibambe angiphakamise uPhuthumani okungathi uyidonsela kuye.....ngizithole sengiguqe ngamadolo. Lapho asisafendi kanje isilwane sikamhlola... Ngizwe kunyakaza ingaphakathi lami lonke...sengihlabe ngekhanda phansi...ingquza sengiyiphushele kuye yonke. Aweeeeehhhh.... Awweeee... Yiiiiiihh... Aweeeeehhhh..... lapho sengikhaliswa ubumnandi bokugcwala komthondo wakhe engquzeni yami. Futhi angazi ukuthi kwafika Nini ukuthi ngimlekelele....nhazithola sengizibambe ngazo zombili izandla izinqa zami...ngimpetulela ididi...lapho useyafutha u Phuthumani...uwushaya umthondo ngendlela okungathi angikaze ngibhejwe ngayo. Sengikhamise umlomo ngiwuvule wonke....amehlo ungathi asevele aphenduka lendawo ebonayo yabuyela ngaphakathi. Lapho ngendlela angifenda ngomfutho ngakhona u Phuthumani....ngiwuzwe kungathi uwugunqguzisa lonke igolo lami umthondo wakhe.... Ayyiiii..... Ayyiiii... Yoooohhh... Mmmm. Aaaaahh..... Ukuthi laphakama nini ikhanda kimi lisuka phansi ezingutsheni angazi....kodwa ngazithola sengibuka izulu... umlomo ngiwuvule wonke. Ngizwe kungathi kuxukukuzeka umzimba wami wonke.....ngiyizwe ubophana ingquza....Kuthi angihlunsule zonke izinwele ezisekhanda kimi..Ngiwuzwe u qubuka uhlevane wonke kungathi kugoqana izinzwane zami... lapho ulokhu ewuphusha ngomfutho ofanayo...ewukhomba kuwo wonke amakhona ebengingazi nokuthi ngonyawo kulengquza yami. Amabele ami...ngiwezwe eqina ebaba kungathi ngingumuntu oncelisayo...kanti sengiyachama Aweeeeeeeemaaaaaahhhh.... Ngyaaaaaaaaachaaaaaaamaaaaahhhh..... Aweeeeehhhh.... eeehmmmm...lapho ngiyizwe ibophana iphinde idedele ingquza....kuba sengathi inhliziyo isivele yema. Kusenjalo....ngizwe kungathi kunobubhudubhudu kanti o Lindiwe beno ma Ngema sebevele bazombamba bayamsusa kimi....Lapho sengilele jaah...Ngesisu phezu kwezimpahla lezi esizoziwasha....iduku ebengilithwele ekhanda alisekho sengisele ngekhanda nje. Ngimuzwe esho kungathi uyahleka ethi....zoobheeebhaaa mina...esho esuka la eduze kwethu...eyishiya ifutha ingquza ngiyizwa ukuthi ibisafuna more. Ohh...Mangcobo... ntombi...alikulimazanga kodwa uhlanya lolu....ngiyabezwa bengemboza izinqe ngesiketi sami leli ebesesisokhalweni. Vuka ntombi... Awu!...Kanti unjani u Phuthumani bakithi! Lapho bakhuluma nje ngiezwa ukuthi kuduma ikhanda....phela empilweni yami yonke ngiyaqala ukuvele ngibhejwe ngaloluhlobo. Ngiwuzwe umzimba wami kungathi uthi... ngiyabonga ... akusakhulumeki....angazi noma ngihleke noma ngikhale yini. Yoooo...lwaze lwakubhebha ntombi uhlanya...Uyezwa! Uzokwenza njani uzoyolibika enduneni...noma emaphoyiseni. Lapho sengihleli phansi kuhle komuntu ophaphama kade ephethwe isifo sokudlikiza...ngibaqalaze phelu laba ebesiwasha nabo...okungathi ngiphaphama ekuqulekeni..... Bakhuluma bonke kanye kanye... U rite? Kunjani man Ngcobo?... Athi u Lindiwe...mina ngingakuphelezela uyobika emaphoyiseni....Uzonya.? Ngiphendule ngomoya ophansi ngithi....Cha angeke ngimbeke cala. Avele ahleke uma Ngema....siphubuke nathi sihleke sonke

---

---

uma ungusisi usufundile waba manzi woza sixoxe whatsapp: thinta kuzovuleka whatsapp group